


Life After Death

by AGJ1990



Series: Evelyn Winchester [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Angst, Gen, Mention of attempted suicide, Sam Winchester is an amazing big brother, Sister!winchester, life after death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 13:23:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10945383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGJ1990/pseuds/AGJ1990
Summary: Sequel to Sensitive Souls are the Strongest. It's been three and a half years since Evy's death and Sam is barely coping. So when Evy is brought back to him temporarily, how will he handle it?





	1. Big Surprise, Little Package

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.  
> If you have not read Sensitive Souls are the Strongest, this story won’t make much sense to you. So please don’t read this one if you haven’t read that one. There are also a few other Evy stories, all of which can be found on my profile page. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter One**  

**Big Surprise, Little Package**

It was a bright, beautiful sunny day, but Sam couldn’t enjoy it. He sat at the little isolated spot in the woods, a half mile from the bunker, where the only thing around was trees and a headstone. It had been three and a half long, grueling years since the worst day of Sam’s life, and right now he felt every minute of it. Sam continued to pull out the weeds surrounding the headstone, and when that was done, he sat down on the ground, thinking carefully about what exactly he wanted to say. He read the headstone for the thousandth time that day.

EVELYN ABIGAIL WINCHESTER

“WHEN I LOOK AT YOU, I CAN FEEL IT. I LOOK AT YOU, AND I’M HOME.”

            Sam laid down the flowers he had brought to the grave, a mix of roses, tulips, sunflowers, and wildflowers. He threw out the flowers that he’d brought two weeks earlier, and placed the fresh ones next the gravestone. Sam smiled, thinking about what Evy would have said if she’d seen him out here. Sam had gotten the headstone made six weeks after Evy’s death, and placed it out this far so that he could have a place to be with her. As far as Sam knew, no one else was aware of it, and every couple of weeks he would come out and talk to her. Tell her what was going on, how much he loved and missed her and wished that she was back.

            In the first few days after Evy’s death, Sam had been a zombie. He’d sat in the bunker, either crying nonstop or staring at the wall. He actively avoided his bedroom, where Evy had died. Dean had eventually coaxed him back into hunting, but Sam had never felt the same sense of fulfillment from it again. Saving lives just wasn’t the same without Evy around.

“Happy birthday, Cricket.”

            Sam sat for a few more minutes, talking to her and catching her up on his and Dean’s latest hunt. He talked as if she was listening, hoping that somehow she was. When he finally ran out of things to say, Sam stood up and prepared to leave.

“I love you, Cricket. I miss you. Be back soon.”

            As Sam turned to walk back towards the bunker, he heard the distinct sound of a twig snapping. Figuring it to be a squirrel or something, Sam ignored it at first; he walked a few feet, but then the sound of shuffling feet was added to the twigs. Sam was immediately on guard, putting his hand to his waist where his gun was.

“Who’s there?” Sam asked.

            The first thing Sam saw was two small feet walking out from behind the bushes a few yards away. A couple seconds later, Sam had recovered from his shock enough to realize that the feet belonged to a little girl. She looked vaguely familiar, though Sam couldn’t place her right away. She had shoulder length, wavy brown hair, and was wearing jeans, a plain blue tshirt, and blue sneakers. When Sam realized who it was, his heart lodged in his throat and his mouth hung open in shock. The little girl spoke first.

“Who are you?” she asked in a tiny frightened voice.

“Cricket?” he asked, barely above a whisper.

            The little girl backed up into a nearby tree, terrified. Sam crouched down slowly, putting both hands in front of him. His heart was pumping fast, so fast that Sam thought it would beat right out of his chest. He took two breaths and let them out slowly, still not entirely sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, okay?” Sam assured her.

“Who are you?” she asked again. “Where am I?”

“Sweetheart, please.” Sam said. “It’s me. It’s Sammy. I’m your brother.”

Evy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and she looked at him as if he was crazy. “You’re not my Sammy.” She said. “You’re too big to be my Sammy.”

Sam smiled. “Honey, I don’t know what’s going on, but I promise, I’m your brother.”

Evy suddenly recovered and said, in her best grown up voice, “Prove it.”

Sam was shocked by the order. “What?” he asked.

“Prove it.” She said again. “If you’re my Sammy, prove it.”

            Sam laughed, all doubt as to who the little girl was now removed from his mind. _That was a very Evy thing to say_ , he thought. Sam nodded, and sat back down on the ground, trying to set her a little more at ease.

“Okay. Your name is Evelyn Abigail Winchester. You’ve got two brothers, Dean and Sam. Sam calls you Cricket, Dean calls you kiddo or baby girl. Your dad’s name is John Winchester. He calls you little one, but you don’t really like that. You’ve got uncle Bobby, who calls you Baitfish. You don’t have a favorite color, because you think it isn’t fair to choose. Your favorite movie is Pinocchio. Your favorite song is ‘Listen to the Music’, and you know every word of it by heart. How am I doing so far?” Sam asked.

“How’d you know all of that?” Evy asked.

“I told you.” Sam said, as evenly and calmly as he could. “I’m your brother.”

            Evy walked slowly towards him, and Sam stayed right where he was. She walked towards him until she was no more than a couple of feet away, and Sam’s heart broke when he noticed tears shining on the edge of her eyes. She was scared and trying not to cry.

“Sammy?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah, Cricket. It’s me.” He said.

“What’s happening?” she asked, biting her bottom lip.

“I don’t know, honey. But if you come with me, I promise you me and Dean’ll find out.” He said.

Evy’s eyes lit up. “Deanie’s here too?” she asked.

“Yes, sweetheart. Dean’s here too.” Sam said, a sad smile crossing his face.

            Evy finally stepped up to Sam and into his open arms. Sam picked her up and held her tightly, reminding himself not to weep or it would scare her. So he walked back towards the bunker, slowly, wondering to himself what the hell was going on as little Evy rested her head on his shoulder and clung to him tightly. Without thinking, Sam reached over and scratched her back as he walked. Evy relaxed and looked around.

“You live out here?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Sam said. “What do you think?”

Evy smiled. “It’s pretty.” She said.

            Sam looked around. He had never really noticed, but it was gorgeous in this part of the woods. There were no buidlings, no other people, just the plants and animals.

“You’re right. It is pretty out here.” Sam said.

            When they reached the bunker, Evy’s eyes got even bigger. As Sam opened the door and stepped inside, she scanned every detail around her. Sam hugged her closely, and Evy squeezed him even tighter. Sam was inside the kitchen before he heard Dean’s voice coming down the stairs.

“Sam? You back?” he asked. “Where’d you go?”

            Sam walked into the kitchen towards the counter, then turned and waited for Dean. Dean walked in and started to repeat his question, until he noticed the little girl hanging onto Sam. He stared for a moment, going between Sam and the little girl. He knew who she _looked_ like, but it couldn’t possibly be….could it? She looked at Dean and smiled.

“Deanie?” she asked.

            Dean wanted to answer, but couldn’t. Sam saw the shock on Dean’s face, and immediately felt relief. Dean saw her too, so he wasn’t hallucinating.  Sam patted Evy’s back and set her down on the floor.

“Dean and I need to talk alone for a minute. We’ll be right in the hallway. Are you okay?” he asked.

Evy nodded.

“Good girl.” Sam said, smiling at her. “We’ll be right back.”

            Sam stepped out into the hallway with Dean, whose mouth was still hanging open. He said nothing for almost a full fifteen seconds, just continued to start at Evy. Finally he turned to Sam and asked,

“What the hell, Sam? Is that…?”

“Yeah.” Sam said. “It’s Evy.”

Dean shrugged and asked again, “Seriously, dude. What the hell?”

“I don’t know, Dean. Believe me, I’m just as confused as you.” Sam said.

“How old is she?” Dean asked.

“Five or six.” Sam said, realizing he’d forgotten to ask.

Dean looked back in the kitchen, where Evy was still taking in her surroundings. “How did she get here?” he asked. “I mean, time travel?”

“Yeah.” Sam said. “Apparently.”

“Sammy.”

Evy had stepped into the hallway with Sam and Dean. Sam bent down and asked her,

“What’s wrong, Cricket?”

“I’m hungry.” She said.

The request caught Sam off guard. “What?”

“I’m hungry.” Evy said again, with a small pout and a whine, putting a hand to her stomach.

            Sam smiled. He had assumed with the fact that his long dead baby sister had travelled through time to come and see him, and he had no idea how or why, that he should prepare himself for something else that he had to figure out. Relieved to have a problem that he could solve right away, Sam reached over and put both arms around her waist.

“Why don’t we go fix that?” he said. “You still like monkey sandwiches?”

            Evy’s grin immediately transported Sam back to his younger days, when his primary responsibility had been caring for her. He missed those days desperately; days before breaking her heart by leaving for Stanford, before going back into hunting with Dean, before her attack from Lillith, before hell, before her giving up her own life to save the world. Sam pulled her in for a tight hug before picking her up and turning back to Dean.

“Dean, I’m gonna make her some lunch. Why don’t you call Cass and see what you can find out?” he asked.

            Dean nodded slowly, still unable to believe what he was seeing. Evy smiled at him from Sam’s shoulder, and Dean finally smiled back at her. He missed Evy too. In all the darkness and despair and muck and chaos that he and Sam dealt with on a daily basis, Evy had been the constant bright light in their lives.

“Deanie? You want a monkey sandwich too?”

Dean shook his head when Evy spoke. “Monkey sandwich? What’s that?”

“Peanut butter and bananas.” She said.

Dean pulled a face. “That sounds gross.”

“Come try one.” Evy said. “Please.”

Dean decided that Cass could wait. Whatever was going on, they’d figure it out later. “Sure thing, baby girl. I’m coming.”


	2. The First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.

**Chapter Two**

**The First Day**

**Two Hours Later**

            Evy had been fed, and was now playing on the map table with a puzzle that Sam had found in storage. It was a five hundred piece puzzle, so Dean had worried it would be too hard for her, but Sam had assured him she’d love it. In only an hour, she had just under half of it done, and her tongue stuck out as she worked on the other half. Dean had, by a miracle in Sam’s book, gotten through to Cass on the first call, but refused to give him any details. As Sam continued to watch Evy play on the table, Cass suddenly popped in.

“Sam. Dean.”

Evy jumped and scrambled into Sam’s arms.

“Whoa, whoa.” Sam wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “It’s okay, sweetie. He’s a friend.”

            Dean kicked himself mentally for not thinking ahead. He couldn’t remember exactly, but Evy had been fifteen or sixteen when she met Cass for the first time, so it made sense that she wouldn’t remember him as a small child. Cass stood by and watched Sam comfort Evy for a minute before speaking.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone else was here. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said.

Evy was now staring at Cass from the safety of Sam’s arms, biting her bottom lip nervously.

“Sweetheart, this is Cass.” Sam said. “Can you say hi?”

Evy waved at him politely. “Hi.” She said quietly.

“Hello.” Cass said, offering her a genuine, but slightly uncomfortable smile.

“Cr…”

            Sam stopped himself from calling her ‘Cricket’. If he did, Cass would pick up on who she was right away. Sam wasn’t sure he would have the self-control not to express how shocked he was. Though that in and of itself wasn’t a problem, he didn’t want it to slip out that she was supposed to be dead.  
“Sweetie, me and Dean need to talk to Cass alone. We’ll be right over there.” Sam pointed towards the other side of the room, where the bookcases were. “Just call us if you need us, okay?”

“Okay, Sammy.”

Sam smiled. God, he missed her so much. “Good girl.” He said, kissing her forehead and putting her back down.

            Evy went back to the table and continued working the puzzle, though she kept shooting glances at Sam to make sure he was there. Dean, Cass, and Sam walked over to the far side of the room, talking in whispers to avoid scaring Evy.

“Who is that?” Cass asked.

Sam sighed. “Cass, it’s Evy.”

Cass’s eyes popped wide in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“It’s Evy, Cass.” Dean said. “We don’t know how or why, but it’s Evy.”

“Wha…?” Cass looked back to the table, where Evy was back on her puzzle. “How long has she been here?”

“A couple hours.” Sam said. “I found her in the woods behind the bunker this morning.”  
“Yeah, that’s another thing.” Dean said, turning to Sam. “What were you doing out there so long?”

“I’ll tell you later.” Sam said. He had no intention of doing that.

            Cass had been staring at Evy, just as amazed at her as her brothers. He heard their conversation but let it go in one ear and out the other. He suddenly had an idea.

“Do you know what time she came from?” Cass asked. “Approximately what date?”

“No.” Sam said. “Why?”

“If you know the date she’s from,” Cass suggested, “we may be able to figure out how she got here. Have you asked her what she was doing before you found her?”

            It was Sam’s turn to kick himself. He’d been so shocked at finding Evy that he hadn’t thought to ask her anything about where she’d come from. He turned back to the table and sat next to her, turning her chair around slightly to face him. Her feet dangled over the edge of the chair, and she swung them back and forth. Dean and Cass sat across from them. Sam took her hand gently and Evy looked back up at him.

“Cricket, we need your help.” Sam said.

“You need my help?” Evy said. “With what?”

“We need to ask you something, and I need you to answer as best you can, okay? Don’t leave anything out. Understand?”

Evy nodded solemnly.

 “What’s the last thing you remember before I found you this morning?” he asked.

Evy was confused. “What do you mean?”

“What was going on? What were you doing?” Sam asked. “It may help us figure out how you got here.”

“Um…” Evy stopped swinging her legs and closed her eyes. Sam smiled; he had taught her to do that when she was having trouble remembering something.

“Take your time, Cricket.” He assured her.

After a few seconds, she opened her eyes. “I was sick.”

“You were sick?” Sam asked. “Sick how?”

“My stomach was hurting really bad.” Evy explained. “You took me to the hospital. The doctor said I needed an operation.”

            The pieces clicked together in Sam’s brain like the puzzle that Evy had been working on just a few minutes earlier. Though he had no idea how she had ended up near the bunker over twenty years later, he had half the mystery solved. Sam closed his eyes for a moment, blocking out the, to put it mildly, unpleasant memory. When he opened his eyes, Evy was still looking at him expectantly.

“Did that help?” Evy asked.

“Yes, baby. It helped a lot.” Sam said, standing up. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead gently. “Thank you.”

Evy smiled, and turned back to the puzzle. Sam took note that she was almost three quarters of the way done, and signaled for Dean and Cass to come back and join him where they’d been talking before. Dean and Cass were confused at Sam’s sudden epiphany.

“Sam? Care to share with the class?” Dean asked.

“Dean, do you remember when she had her appendix taken out?” Sam asked.

Recognition suddenly dawned on Dean’s face too. “No way.”

“What happened?” Cass asked.

“That night she was talking about, the night she got sick? She had surgery to take her appendix out. The surgery went fine, but she wouldn’t wake up later. She was unconscious for three days.” Sam explained. “The doctors couldn’t figure out why.”

Cass nodded. “That’s seems to be the most likely explanation.”

Dean asked, “Cass, have you ever heard of anything like this?”

“No.” Cass said simply. “But that doesn’t rule it out.” Cass turned to look at Evy, the familiar sense of pride he’d always felt about her starting to come back to him. “I’ll see if I can find a way to send her back home. You two stay here with her.”

Sam nodded. “Thanks, Cass.”

“I’m finished!”

            Sam looked back towards the table and was not surprised at all to find a perfectly completed puzzle. Sam checked his phone and looked to Dean, holding his hand out. He and Dean had made a bet when Sam found a puzzle that Evy couldn’t finish it in under three hours.

“Two and a half hours, Dean.” Sam said.

“Ah, shut up.” Dean said, slapping a five dollar bill in Sam’s hand.

            Sam, laughing, took the bill from Dean and shoved it in his pocket. He went over and praised Evy. It had been a long, long time since he’d been able to just play with her like this, and he intended to take full advantage of it. In the back of his mind, though, he thought back to the terrible day Evy had just come from.

_Twenty-Three Years Earlier_

_Sixteen year old Sam Winchester sat in the surgical waiting room, his heart pounding hard in his chest. He’d only been here for four hours, but it felt like a week. When he’d brought Evy in, she’d been crying and shaking in pain. Everything had happened in a flash. The doctor had examined Evy, told Sam that she needed emergency surgery right away, and that it had to happen fast. An hour after arriving, a still crying Evy was being wheeled into surgery. Sam could hear her voice playing over and over in his head._

_“I’m scared, Sammy.”_

_Sam thought about what he’d told her, and hoped that it was all true. That she’d be fine. That she’d wake up feeling much better. That he would be right there the second she opened her eyes. The last one Sam had no doubt about. Heaven, hell, God, demons, ghosts, his father; it didn’t matter. Sam was not about to let anything, natural or supernatural, keep him from his little girl. Especially not when she was sick and hurting like this._

_“Sam.”_

_Sam was shaken out of his thoughts by the voice of his father, who had just appeared in the doorway. Dean and Bobby were right behind him, and all three looked incredibly worried. Sam mused for a moment on the fact that a tiny little girl could cause four grown men who regularly fought monsters without fear to be truly afraid._

_“Dad.” Sam said, greeting his father._

_“Sam, what happened?” John asked, taking the chair next to Sam._

_Sam swallowed hard and ran a hand through his hair. “She was complaining of a stomachache all night. I made her lay down and I thought she’d get better. She woke up a little while later. God, Dad, she was….”_

_John put a rare hand of comfort on Sam’s shoulder. “What, Sammy?”_

_“She was screaming, Dad.” A heartbroken Sam said, his voice breaking. “She was hurting, and screaming, and I couldn’t help her.”_

_“Sam, you did the right thing.” John said. “She’ll be fine, son.”_

_“Abigail Winston.”_

_At the sound of the alias Sam had used for their trip to the hospital, he jumped up. The doctor who had taken Evy to surgery, Dr. Kissler, was standing there. John, Dean, and Bobby followed behind him._

_“How is she?” Sam asked immediately._

_Dr. Kissler noticed all the new people in the room. “Who are all of you?” he asked._

_“I’m her father.” John said. “Where is my daughter?”_

_“Abigail is quite the trooper. She made it through the surgery just fine. We took her appendix out before it ruptured.” He said._

_“Great.” John said, smiling with relief. “Can we see her?”_

_Dr. Kissler sighed. “There was a complication.”_

_“What kind of complication?” Sam asked._

_Dr. Kissler wished, more than anything, he could give them better news. “Is there any chance that she’s allergic to some medication that you didn’t tell me about?”_

_“No.” Sam said right away. He knew Evy’s medical history better than anyone. “Why?”_

_“Abigail’s actually been out of surgery for over an hour. She should have woken up by now.” Dr. Kissler said. “We’ve taken her out of recovery and moved her to the ICU. We need to keep her here for observation and try to figure out why she isn’t waking up.”_

_“Doc, please.” Dean spoke up for the first time. “Can we see her?”_

_“For a minute, yes.” Dr. Kissler said. “Follow me.”_

_Dr. Kissler led the four men down the hall to the ICU. There were a few rooms, and Dr. Kissler led them into the one at the farthest end of the hall. The lights were on, and for a moment Sam couldn’t tell where Evy was. When he did, Sam felt his breath catch in his throat. She was lying on the bed, which looked huge compared to her tiny frame which was sleeping on it. Sam sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, brushing her hair away which was hanging in front of her face._ I should have given you a bath before I put you to bed, _he couldn’t help but think. As Sam leaned down to give Evy a kiss, he heard his father ask,_

_“Is she in a coma, doctor?”_

_“No.” Dr. Kissler said. “That’s why it’s so puzzling. Her brain activity is normal, and she’s responding to outside stimulus. For whatever reason, she’s just in a very, very deep sleep. We’ve drawn a little blood to try and run some tests. I’m sorry, I wish I had more answers for you. But I assure you we’re doing everything we can to find out what’s going on.”  
“Thank you, doctor.” John said._

_Dr. Kissler checked the clock and his heart sank again. “Listen, I’m sorry about this, but visiting hours are almost over, and we only allow a parent or guardian to spend the night with a child in the ICU.”_

_Sam looked at his dad in a panic. “Dad, please…”_

_“And they have to be over eighteen.” Dr. Kissler said._

_Sam’s heart sank. The thought of Evy waking up and him not being there like he’d promised crushed him. He looked at John with tears in his eyes, pleading. John sighed. He wanted to stay with Evy. But he knew that it would not go over well if she woke up, sick and miserable, and Sam was not close by. She would panic and cry, and John couldn’t stand the thought of that._

_“Doctor, let me ask. You don’t know what’s keeping my daughter asleep, right?” he said._

_“Right.” Dr. Kissler said._

_“So this could just be a fluke. She could wake up any second now and be totally fine.” John continued._

_“She could.” Dr. Kissler agreed._

_“When she does wake up, she needs to be calm, I’m assuming?” John asked._

_“That’s true.”_

_“Doctor, my son takes care of my daughter ninety nine percent of the time. If she wakes up and he’s not here, she will not be, in any sense of the word, calm.” John said evenly. “So if my son is willing to stay, he needs to stay.”_

_Dr. Kissler sighed. He actually hated the hospital rule that only one person could stay with a child in the ICU. Children who were that sick needed as much family around as was willing to be there. Looking at Sam, Dr. Kissler saw the tears shining in the boy’s eyes. She had clung to her brother while she’d been examined as if it would actually kill her to let him go. Separating them would just lead to heartbreak, and that would hinder any healing that needed to take place. And if the girl woke up and really did react badly to her brother not being there, it could make whatever was not allowing her to wake up worse. Dr. Kissler nodded._

_“Okay. I’ll need you to sign a waiver saying that it’s okay for your son to stay here without you. Assuming you are okay with it…” Dr. Kissler said, turning to Sam._

_“I’m not leaving her.” Sam said._

_“Okay. I’ll let you gentlemen say good night. You can come back in the morning at nine. Mr. Winston, I’ll leave the waiver at the nurses station.” Dr. Kissler said._

_“Thank you, doctor.” John said._

_Dean and Bobby both said their good nights to Evy, wishing her a speedy recovery and asking her to wake up soon. They stepped out into the hallway to wait for John, who lingered for a moment in the room, staring down at Evy’s unconscious body lying on the bed. Sam still sat on the edge of the bed, holding Evy’s hand. He had been shocked when his father had stood up for him, and allowed him to be the one to stay with Evy. Shocked but incredibly grateful._

_“Dad?”_

_“Yeah, Sammy?” John said, tearing his eyes away from Evy._

_Sam swallowed. “Thank you.” He said._

_“You’re welcome, Sammy.” John smiled. “Call one of us if she wakes up in the night, okay? I don’t care what time it is.”_

_“Sure, dad.” Sam nodded._

_“And Sam? I get why you want to stay with her. I do. But you need to take care of yourself too, okay?” John said. “I’m not going to make you train while she’s still recovering, but I do expect you to get some sleep and eat like you’re supposed to. If you don’t do that, I_ will _make you leave and I’ll be the one to stay here. The last thing your sister needs is for you to get sick too.”_

_“Yes, sir.” Sam said. He turned back to Evy, the guilt in his heart threatening to eat him alive. “Dad, I’m sorry.”_

_“For what, Sam?” John asked._

_“She was telling me her stomach was hurting all night. Maybe if I’d gotten here sooner…” Sam said, his voice starting to break._

_“Sam, stop it.” John said, pulling a chair up beside Sam. “Listen to me. Children get stomach aches. You had no reason to think it was anything other than that. But as soon as it got bad, you jumped into action. If you hadn’t gotten here when you did, your sister might have died, Sam. You saved her life. Understand?”_

_Sam nodded, though the guilt still threatened to crush him. “Yes, sir.” He whispered._

_“Okay.” John said. Turning to Evy, he took her hand and kissed it, then stroked her hair lightly. “Get back to us, little one. We miss you. Daddy loves you.”_

_Before John could leave, Sam thought of something. “Dad?” John turned back to him and he asked, “Will you bring Squish with you in the morning?”_

_John smiled and nodded, then finally turned and left. Sam was relieved. He let go the single tear that had been threatening to fall when the doctor had said that Evy wasn’t waking up. The guilt and the fear threatened to eat him alive, to destroy him, but Sam wouldn’t let it. Like John had said, the last thing that Evy needed right now was for him to get sick too. So Sam turned out the lights in the room, got back on the bed with Evy, and positioned her so that she was completely wrapped in his arms._

_“Sammy’s here, Cricket. Wherever you are right now, I’m waiting for you. Come back to me, baby. I love you.”_

            Sam was snapped out of his thoughts by a tug on his leg. Evy stood underneath him, childish smile on her face, arms outstretched towards him. Sam picked her up again and held her tightly to him. What she said next made the tears he’d fought to keep away come.

“I’m here, Sammy. Please don’t be sad.”

Sam smiled. This was both the happiest and the saddest that he’d been in years. He knew he’d have to let Evy go soon, but he didn’t have to right this second. So he squeezed her as tight as he could without suffocating her.

“I’m not sad, Cricket.” Sam assured her. “How could I be? You’re here with me.”

            Sam had forgotten how nice it was to feel needed. Though Evy was bravely facing the situation, especially given the fact that she was only six years old, she kept coming to him throughout the day and wrapping her arms around his legs or his neck, as if checking to make sure he was still there. Sam admired her strength, even as a little kid. Most adults would have been freaking out at that point, but Evy was fine as long as Sam kept reassuring her. Cass returned close to dinnertime, informing them on what he’d found. When Sam and Dean sat Evy down to tell her about it, she said nothing for a moment. She was mulling it over in her head. Finally, she turned to Sam.

“So, you’re grown-up Sammy?’ she asked. Sam nodded, and she continued. “And you’re my brother Dean, just older?” Dean nodded. “And all I have to do is stay here with you until I can go back home?”

“That’s right, kiddo.” Dean said.

Evy nodded and looked away from both of them. She tried to hide it, but Sam caught her wiping a tear away from her eye. It pained him to do it. It had been years, but she needed it. Sam gently took her chin and turned her to face him.

“Talk to me.” He said softly.

Evy’s bottom lip started trembling. “I want to go home.”

            Sam had to stop himself from saying _this is your home._ The fact was, this wasn’t her home. Not yet. She didn’t belong here. It killed him to admit that, but she couldn’t stay here. Sam put a hand to her cheek. His hand covered almost the whole right side of her face. Evy leaned into it, searching him for answers. Sam wiped her tear away before promising,

“You will, sweetheart. I promise. I will get you home.”

Evy nodded, deciding that grown-up Sammy would keep his promises to her just like the Sammy she knew would’ve. She smiled, then asked,

“What are we gonna do?”

“Whatever you want.” Dean answered. “You got three days. It’s up to you.”

Evy grinned and turned to him. “Can we go get pie?”

 


	3. Dinner and Bedtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.

**Chapter Three**

**Dinner and Bedtime**

            Though Evy’s request for pie earned an eye roll from Sam, they both took her for pie and spent the rest of the day with her. Dean ran around the yard chasing her, grabbing her and flying her through the air. Sam took her to his room, where he sat her on the bed and played _Finding Nemo_ for her. Though he had dreaded watching it when it was her favorite movie growing up, he relished watching her see it for the first time again. Dinner had been an interesting adventure. Evy wanted to help, but Sam couldn’t find anything in the bunker other than some junk food, the ingredients for the monkey sandwiches, and some days old leftover pizza. So an impromptu family trip to the grocery store became the bulk of their afternoon. While there, an older woman in her sixties approached Sam.

“Is she your daughter?” she asked.

Sam, who had been looking at some fruit juice for Evy, jumped. “I’m sorry?”

“Is she your daughter?” the woman repeated.

            She nodded towards the end of the aisle, where Dean was holding Evy and planning something. What exactly, he couldn’t tell, and he was absolutely certain that he didn’t want to know. Sam smiled and chuckled, then turned back to the woman.

“Yes. She is.” Sam said.

“She’s absolutely adorable.” The woman said. “She looks just like you. You’re a lucky man.”

Sam hadn’t thought of himself as lucky in a very long time. He smiled and said, “Thank you. I am a lucky man.”

            Sam finished getting dinner and left, Dean holding the bags and Evy clinging to Sam. Sam had a sudden burst of inspiration, and stopped at Goodwill to get a couple changes of clothes for Evy and a set of PJs. She helped Sam with dinner, more so than Dean, who tried to eat everything before it was ready. A couple hours later, around 8:30pm, as Sam finished with giving Evy a bath and changing her into her PJs, she started to yawn. She leaned into Sam’s shoulder heavily.

“Sammy, I’m tired.” She whined.

            Sam sighed and patted her back. This was the part of the day he had been dreading the most. If he could, he would keep her up the entire four days. He wanted to hold her, talk to her, make her laugh, enjoy as much time with her as she could. But that just wasn’t possible. So Sam scratched her back and said softly,

“Let’s put you to bed, huh?”

            Evy nodded and let Sam pick her up and carry her to bed. _You must be exhausted._ Sam thought. _You stopped letting me carry you to bed when you were three._ Sam took her down the hall and into the bedroom right next to his. He showed her where he was sleeping, then went in the room he had briefly set up for her. He wished he could’ve done more with it, but all he had had time for was making the bed and putting in Beanie, which he had dug out of a box of Evy’s stuff that he kept in his bedroom closet. Sam laid Evy down on the bed, and tucked her in.

            His heart ached as he tucked her in. He had numbed himself to his grief for Evy. He’d had to in order to halfway function. Sam found it ironic that the person who had caused him the most joy in the world had also caused him the deepest, most profound heartache. When Evy was finally settled in bed, she looked up and smiled at him. Sam took one long moment to take everything in. He brushed her hair away from her face, and wished for a minute he could stop time.

“Good night, Cricket.”

Evy yawned. “Good night, Sammy.”

“If you need me, call out, okay? I’ll be here in two seconds flat.” Sam assured her.

Evy nodded. “Will you stay?” she whispered. “Till I go to sleep?”

Sam smiled. Exactly the request he’d been hoping for. “You bet.”

            Evy smiled. She grabbed Sam’s hand and put it on her belly, then turned on her side with her back to Sam. Sam smiled and took the hint, lifting up the back of her pajama shirt and gently scratching her back. Less than five minutes later, her breathing was long and drawn out. Sam stood up, kissed her cheek, and finally left the room. He walked out towards the kitchen, more memories playing in the back of his mind.

            _Sam was frustrated. They had been at the hospital for a day and a half. The doctors were growing more and more concerned with Evy’s condition. It wasn’t deteriorating, but it was not improving either. She was just asleep, and refusing to wake up. Her heart rate, temperature, and everything else was completely normal. Her reflexes were good. No one could figure out what was going on._

_Sam read to her, sang to her, even tried shaking her awake when the doctors weren’t looking. Nothing was working. He was entering his second night in the hospital. Dean, Bobby, and John had come for most of the day. John had repeated his instructions to Sam, then headed out._

_The sun had long since gone down. Sam was sitting next to Evy’s bed, reading to her again, when he was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. When he looked up, Sam saw one of the nurses with a brown bag in her hand. She was a kind looking woman, with long brown wavy hair. She looked only a few years older than Sam._

_“Hey, sweetie, are you okay?” she asked._

_“I don’t know.” Sam said. “Are you taking her for more tests?”_

_The nurse laughed. “Sweetie, I meant you.” She said. “I came to check on you. Are you okay?”_

_“Oh.” Sam was startled. He’d been so wrapped up with Evy that he hadn’t expected anyone to ask about him. “I’m okay. Just worried.”_

_“Have you eaten today?” she asked._

_“Um…” Sam had eaten, but only bits and pieces._

_The nurse smiled. “That’s okay. That’s what I thought.” She handed Sam the brown bag. “My brother fixed this for me for dinner. You take it.”_

_“What…” Sam looked inside. “Is that…?”_

_“Peanut butter and bananas.” She said. “He’s been making them for me since I was little.”_

_Sam laughed. “I thought I was the only one.” Sam nodded towards Evy. “She loves them.”_

_The nurse smiled. “You eat, sweetie.”_

_“What about you?” Sam said. “I can’t take your dinner.”_

_“You can and you will.” She said, pushing the bag towards him._

_Sam laughed. There was something familiar about the nurse. She felt like a kindred spirit, someone he was connected to in some way that he couldn’t explain. He took the bag from her and smiled appreciatively._

_“Thank you.” Sam said._

_“You’re welcome.” She said. She glanced at Evy then back at Sam. “You are a very good brother. Has anyone ever told you that?”_

_Sam stopped midbite and looked at the nurse thoughtfully. The truth was, only one person had told him that lately._

_“She does.” Sam said, pointing at the bed. “All the time.”_

_“She loves you.” The nurse said. “She loves you and wants you to know that.”_

_“Yeah.” Sam suddenly looked sad. “I used to take it for granted. Now that she hasn’t said it in a whole day, I miss it.”_

_“You know,” the nurse said, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, “I’m not really supposed to say this, but your sister’s going to be okay.”_

_Sam looked up at the nurse with unshed tears in his eyes. “How do you know?” he asked._

_“Trust me, kiddo.” She said. “She’ll be back soon. She’s just taking an extended nap.”_

“Sam!”

            Sam was startled out of his daydream by Dean’s voice. He had made it all the way to the kitchen, and had been so wrapped up in his memories that he had no recollection of making the trip there.  Dean was looking at him concerned.

“You okay?” he asked. “I called you like six times.”

“Yeah.” Sam said. “Sorry.”

            Sam sat down at the table, running his fingers through his hair. He hadn’t realized how tired he actually was until he sat down with nothing else to think about. Dean went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, then set one in front of Sam too. No one said anything, both of them still too flabbergasted to know what to say. After a few minutes of silent contemplation, Dean finally asked,

“Sam? You okay?”

            Sam took a long, slow drink of his beer before answering, and Dean waited patiently. Was he okay? How was he supposed to answer that question? He’d dreamed every day for Evy to come back. Now she was, in a way, but not permanently. Sam was grateful, but he was also pissed. What kind of cruel twist of fate would do this to him? Bobby’s words from years earlier floated to the front of Sam’s mind, and made him have to take a deep, ragged breath. _She’s the love of my life. How many times do I have to kill her?_ Sam had lost so many people already. He hadn’t thought it was possible, but he’d lived through losing Evy. Halfway lived through it, anyway. Every day was a struggle. Fifteen minutes of peace would vanish when he’d suddenly remember something Evy had said or done. Though he relished the fact that he still had clear, vivid memories of her, both as a child and an adult, the memories always caused the constant dull pain he’d become accustomed to to sharpen. Sam began to speak, using the opportunity to sort out his own feelings.

“I lost her once.”

Dean narrowed his eyes in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I lost her once.” Sam repeated, staring intently at his beer bottle. “She was…two, maybe three, I don’t remember exactly. You and Dad were on a hunt, me and Evy were staying at Bobby’s. She was really, really hyper.” Sam laughed humorlessly. “She needed to run off some energy, so I took her to the park. I had to go to the bathroom about thirty minutes after we got there. I took her to the family one, and I told her to put her hand on the bathroom sink and don’t move it until I come out.”

“And she did?” Dean guessed.  
“Yep.” Sam confirmed. “I couldn’t have been in there more than, two, three minutes, but she got antsy and left. I found her back on the other side of the park. She’d gotten impatient and gone back to play where we’d been before.”

“Wow.” Dean said. “What’d you do?”

“Yelled at her. Mostly.” Sam said. Dean caught Sam’s hidden meaning behind ‘mostly’ and said nothing. “Anyway, she was crying, so I picked her up and took her to a park bench and just held her for probably ten, fifteen minutes. I didn’t want to let her go.” A tear escaped down Sam’s cheek. He waited another few seconds before speaking again. “The reason I was so crazy when she died, was because my brain kept thinking about that day at the park. And I kept thinking that, maybe, if I just let myself feel the pain, the worry of losing her, that, maybe after a few minutes I’d find her again.”

Dean wasn’t sure how to respond.

Sam sniffed, and when he spoke again, his voice was breaking. “Dean, I don’t know if I can let her go again.”

This time Dean did know what to say. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”

Sam finally looked at Dean. “What do you mean?”

“I’m saying maybe we shouldn’t send her back.” Dean said. “Maybe we should keep her. Raise her.”  
“Dean…” Sam said.

“Think about it.” Dean said. The idea had been floating in his head all day, but he hadn’t wanted to say anything in front of Evy. “Think about all we’d be saving her from. You going to Stanford. Watching Jess die. Watching me _and_ you die. Sam, we’d be saving her from Lillith.”

            Sam wanted to object, but found that he couldn’t. Dean had a point that Sam honestly hadn’t thought about. All the bad things Evy had been through in her life would be erased if they didn’t send her back to face them. Dean could tell that Sam was thinking seriously about it, but both their thoughts were cut off by a bloodcurdling scream coming from down the hall.

“LET ME GO!”

            Both boys raced down the hall towards the room Sam had just put Evy down to bed in less than half an hour earlier. Sam flung the door open and flipped the light on quickly. Dean came behind him, gun drawn. But the only other person in the room was Evy. She was kicking and thrashing on the bed, still screaming and crying. Dean holstered his gun, and Sam flew next to Evy. He sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed Evy’s arms, calling her name loudly. It took five times of yelling her name for Evy to wake up. She fought Sam at first, until she realized it was him. When she realized she was safe, she crumpled into a heap in Sam’s arms, sobbing.

“Shh.” Sam cooed. “Sammy’s here. You’re safe, baby. Shh.”

“Sammy.” Evy managed between sobs.

It sickened Sam when he realized he could feel her tears underneath his shirt. “You’re safe. Shh. It’s okay, baby, I’m here.”

Evy continued muttering something, but she was crying so hard Sam couldn’t make it out. When she had calmed a little, Sam’s heart dropped when he realized what she was saying. “Want my Sammy. I wanna go home.”

            Sam shut his eyes tightly. When he opened them, tears were streaming down his own face. She wanted the Sam she knew, the version of him twenty years earlier. Sam looked to Dean, who was also crying softly. They both realized what they had to do. It killed them, but it was necessary. Sam spoke first.

“We’ll get you home, Cricket. I swear. We’ll get you home.”

            Evy continued to cling to Sam and cry. Dean eventually sat with them, offering the occasional pat on her back. When she had calmed to only hiccups and the occasional sniffle, her head still resting on Sam’s chest, Sam wiped her face and decided to broach the subject of the nightmare.

“Cricket? You want to tell me what you were dreaming about?”

Evy firmly shook her head.

“Please? It might make you feel better.” Sam prodded gently.

She said nothing for a few seconds, then said, “Fire. I was in a dark room, there was someone in there with me. Then the room lit on fire. I was trying to call you, but there was no sound…”

            Sam was shocked. Dean was too. Evy had told them about having this dream right before Jess died. But she’d been twelve when that happened, years after being in the hospital. Was this a side effect of the time travel? Either way, it meant one thing. If it continued, she would continue to relive all the bad things they wanted to protect her from. Sam held her closer to him, rocking her slightly. When he noticed her eyelids were getting heavier, he asked gently,

“You ready to go back to sleep?”

Evy pushed back from Sam slightly. She sat up and looked to him first, then to Dean. She was still breathing hard. Her watery eyes hurt both Sam and Dean’s hearts, and what she said next almost made them both start crying again.

“Can I sleep with you?” she asked softly.

Sam kissed her cheek and pushed her hair out of her face. “Of course you can.” He stood and picked her up, blanket, Beanie, and all, and prepared to take her with him to his room.

“Deanie?” she asked.

Dean stepped beside Sam. “Yeah, kiddo?”

“Will you come too? Till I go to sleep?” she asked.

“Sure thing, short stuff.” Dean said, planting another kiss on her cheek. A thought occurred to him. “I’ve got an idea. Sam, take her to my room.”

            Sam was curious, but walked down to Sam’s room. Dean followed right behind them. Dena went to the corner of his room and pulled out the large leather recliner he kept there. He pulled it next to the bed and turned it sideways. He motioned for Sam to sit down as he went to his closet and pulled out a large fleece blanket. Dean sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a comforting hand on Evy’s back.

“There. Now Sam can hold you while I fight off the monsters. How’s that?”

Both men breathed a sigh of relief when Evy smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Deanie.” She said sweetly, in between a yawn that escaped as she talked.

“You’re welcome, baby girl.” Dean said. “I love you. Sweet dreams.”

“Love you ‘oo.” She said, yawning again.

As Dean wrapped the blanket over Sam and Evy, Sam scratched her back, the rhythmic motion making her fall quickly into a deep sleep. As Dean turned out the lamp and laid down in his own bed, Sam kissed the top of her head.

“Good night, my angel.” He whispered.


	4. Lions and Tigers and Bears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.

**Chapter Four**

**Lions and Tigers and Bears**

            Though the night started off rough, it was relative smooth sailing after Evy fell asleep. Sam woke a couple of times to hear her whimpering, but a mixture of being cuddled up in his arms and him singing softly to her while scratching her back seemed to head off the oncoming bad dreams. Dean woke the next morning before either of them, and headed to the kitchen quietly to start to make some coffee. An old coffee mug of his in the cabinet gave him an idea. He had never used it, just stuck it in the cupboard and forgotten about it when they’d moved into the bunker.

            Back in Dean’s room, Sam was awake and watching Evy sleep. At some point in the night, she had tuned on her back, so that Sam was looking at her face now. He had gone to sleep fearing that everything the day before had been a dream, and he would wake up and everything would be back to the way it was before. Sam smelled Dean brewing coffee in the kitchen, and as he took a deep breath, Evy stirred and opened her eyes slowly. She jumped a little at first; in her just woken up state, the room was unfamiliar to her, as was the man sitting in the chair beside her. But when Sam stroked her cheek, she calmed and smiled at him.

“Good morning, Cricket.”

“Hi, Sammy.” She said, placing her head back on his chest.

“You hungry?” Sam asked. “I think Deanie’s making breakfast. What do you say we go give him a hand?”

            Evy nodded, and Sam let down the chair. Evy hopped off first, her bare feet making loud slapping noises against the floor of the bunker. Sam followed close behind her. She stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, then looked up at Sam, puzzled.

“What is it, Cricket?”

            Sam saw the reason for her puzzling look and stopped too. Dean wasn’t making breakfast like he’d thought, but was on his cell phone, whispering in hushed tones to someone. When he noticed Sam and Evy standing in the doorway, he quickly ended the conversation and hung up.   
“Yeah. Thanks, Dave….we’ll be there soon.” He said.

            Sam reached down and patted Evy’s back, gently prodding her to go in the kitchen. Evy walked in and sat down, Sam taking the seat next to her. Evy was nervous. Sam seemed annoyed, so Evy didn’t say anything.

“Dean.” Sam said, his voice carefully measured. “You can’t seriously be considering taking a hunt. Today.”

Dean didn’t respond, just gave them an ear to ear grin. “Both of you need to get dressed.”

“Why?” Sam said, at the same time Evy whined, “But I’m hungry!”

“I’ve got a surprise for you.” Dean said. “Come on, chop chop. We can get breakfast on the way.”

            Sam and Evy both eyed him suspiciously. Evy eventually jumped down and went back to the bedroom to get dressed. Sam stayed behind and tried to pry the surprise out of Dean.

“Dean, what are you up to?”

“Can’t tell you Sammy. Top secret information.” Dean said.

            Sam sighed, giving up. Dean had obviously planned something big. Evy came back a few minutes later, dressed in a purple top and some purple cotton pants. Sam made her get her jacket and shoes on, then Dean ushered them both out to the Impala. Evy climbed up front, sitting between Sam and Dean. Sam kept shooting Dean quizzical glances as they drove, but Dean stubbornly refused to say anything. Around fifty miles from the bunker, an hour after they’d started their journey, Dean tapped Sam on the shoulder. He nodded towards a road sign that read “Topeka Zoo 145 miles” and then back at Evy. Sam grinned and nodded. Evy was too distracted by the sights on the side of the road and playing I Spy with Sam and twenty questions with Dean to notice. Around lunchtime, they were pulling into the zoo parking lot. Dean pulled into a spot in the far corner where it was hard to tell exactly where they were. Evy looked up at Dean, waiting expectantly. Dean pulled out his phone, sent a text, and turned to her.

“What are we doing here?” Evy asked, giggling, after fifteen seconds had passed and no one had said anything.

“Just wait.” Dean said, and laughed when Evy glared at him and crossed her arms in a huff. Damn if she didn’t look exactly like Sam when she did that. “You’ll find out.”

            Finally, a tall, thin man came out, with close cut black hair and hazel eyes. He was wearing a zoo employee tshirt, with the name ‘Jeff Marks’ on the tag. Dean told Sam and Evy to get out, then introduced them to Jeff. Jeff shook Sam’s hand, then bent down with a smile to Evy. Evy, shy around new faces, had one arm wrapped around Sam’s leg.

“Well, hi there. I’m Jeff.” Jeff said kindly.

“Hi.” Evy said quietly. “I’m Evy.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Evy. Dean tells me you’ve never been to the zoo before.” Jeff said.

Evy’s eyes went wide. “That’s where we are?” she said, surprised.  
Jeff chuckled. “It sure is. And I have another surprise for you. You not only get to see the animals today, you get to help us take care of them.”

Evy’s shyness was suddenly forgotten as she let go of Sam’s leg and nearly shouted, jumping up with excitement, “Really? Cool!”

Jeff laughed. “That’s right. But there are a couple rules you have to follow while you’re here, okay?”

“Okay.” Evy said, waiting with the utmost seriousness to find out what she had to do.

“First, and most important, is that you have to listen and do exactly what the zookeepers and the other staff tell you, okay? There’s some animals here we can let you see but you can’t help with because they’re too dangerous. So if me or one of the others tells you not to touch, you have to listen. Okay?”

“Okay. I promise I’ll listen.” Evy said. “What else?”

Jeff smiled. “Have as much fun as you possibly can. Okay? You think you can do that?”

“Definitely.” Evy responded emphatically, making all three adults laugh.

            Jeff started walking back towards the zoo entrance. Evy turned around and held her hand out to Sam, who took it and walked with her across the parking lot. Dean was beaming, and Evy was practically vibrating with energy. When they went inside, Evy said to Sam “Sammy, I gotta go”, and Sam walked with her to the nearest restroom. Jeff was at the reception desk taking care of something, so Sam took advantage of their privacy to ask Dean about what was going on.

“Dean? How in the hell did you swing this so fast?” Sam asked.

Dean smirked in triumph. “Jeff’s an old friend of Bobby’s. Told me if I ever wanted to come visit, just let him know and he’d take us backstage.”

“And who does he think Evy is?” Sam asked.  
“Our niece.” Dean answered simply.

            Sam started to say something else, but Evy came out of the bathroom and Sam cut his question short. She took Sam’s hand again and they walked over to where Jeff was standing. Over the next two hours, Sam lost count of the number of times he heard “Look, Sammy!” and “Wow!”. Evy giggled, laughed, and played to her heart’s content. By the time they sat down for lunch a couple hours later, Evy had not stopped smiling the entire morning. When they sat at the large picnic table, Evy surprised both her brothers when she sat next to Dean instead of Sam. She stood up on , wrapped both arms around Dean’s neck and squeezed.

“This is great, Deanie. Thank you.” She said.

            Dean smiled and patted her hand, then pulled her over into his lap. Sam had gotten to hold her all day, and Dean intended to take his turn now. He didn’t respond for a moment, just held her and breathed in her scent. He kissed her, then responded,

“Anything for you, baby girl. I love you.”

            Sam was standing at the drink fountain, filling cups for everyone, when he glanced over and saw Evy sitting in Dean’s lap, cuddled up to him. Sam smiled. Dean was reluctant to admit it, but he had a soft side. Or, as adult Evy had called it, “a squishy soft side”. And Evy had always been one of the fastest, most foolproof way for it to come out. Sam didn’t rush, allowing Evy and Dean a little close quality time together. He brought the cups over and told them he was going to the bathroom. Evy moved out of Dean’s lap but stayed close to him. As she took her first bite, she said cautiously,

“Deanie? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Dean said, wiping his hands with a napkin. “What’s up?”  
“Well…” Evy said slowly, taking her time to phrase her question. “If you’re here, and Sammy’s here…”

“Yeah?” Dean prompted after a long pause.

Evy looked up at Dean, and after the laughs and giggles of the day, Dean was surprised to find a few tears starting in her eyes. “Where am I?”

 _Great._ Dean thought. He’d hoped to avoid this question. He considered waiting on Sam to come back, but decided that he should handle this one alone. So Dean put on his best fake smile, and attempted his best ‘cool big brother’ voice.

“Here’s the thing, kiddo. I can tell you some stuff, but I can’t tell you everything, okay? Some stuff you got to wait to find out.”

Evy nodded. “Okay.”

“Well…” Dean started. “You are super smart. And you grow up to be a bigshot college professor.”

Evy scrunched her face in confusion. “What’s that?” she asked.

Dean smiled; Evy’s quick learning meant he didn’t often get to explain things to her. “It means you grow up to teach other grown-ups.”

“Wow.” Evy whispered. “Really?”

“Really.” Dean said. “But that’s not the coolest part.”

“What’s the cool part?” Evy asked seriously, her little eyes hanging off of Dean’s every word.

Dean leaned in close, so that only Evy could hear what he was saying. “You saved the whole world, kid.”

“What?” Evy asked, jumping slightly.

Dean smiled. “That’s right, kiddo.”

“Wow. You were right.” Evy said. “That is cool.”

“What’s cool?” Sam asked, returning from the bathroom and sitting down to join them.

“Deanie says I saved the world.” Evy said. “Is that true?”

            Sam immediately stopped what he was doing and looked at Dean with a mixture of horror and anger. Dean couldn’t look Sam directly in the eye. Sam, fuming, chose not to say anything on the matter other than “Yep, that’s right, kiddo.” and change the subject. When Evy had finished her sandwich, Sam finally got the break he needed to confront Dean. Evy had been eyeing the small playground directly on the other side of the picnic tables.

“Sammy? Can I go play?”

“Sure, Cricket.” Sam said. “Fiftenn minutes, then we go find Jeff, okay?”

“’Kay.” Evy said, hopping off her seat and running over to play.

As soon as Evy was out of hearing range, Sam turned on Dean. “What the hell, Dean?”

“She asked me, Sam, okay?” Dean said. He’d been expecting Sam’s outburst, so he was prepared for it. “She asked me, and I had to tell her something. I didn’t tell her everything, just what would sound cool to a six-year-old.”  
“She asked you what?” Sam said.

“She asked me where she was.” Dean said. “Adult her.”

            Sam’s expression softened and the anger melted out of his face. He glanced across the way at Evy, who was pushing herself down a slide and laughing. Another thought occurred to Sam, one that made him sick to his stomach.

“She’ll be gone tomorrow.”

Dean started to respond, but another, deeper voice cut in. “Yes.”

            Dean and Sam jumped. Cass had appeared behind them. Both fought the urge to curse at him, and both were checking around to see if anyone had noticed the man suddenly appearing in the middle of the lunch section. Everyone seemed to be buried in their own conversations, so Sam turned back to Cass.

“What are you talking about?” Sam asked quietly.

Cass sat down next to Sam, and looked everywhere but in Sam’s face. “She goes back home tomorrow.”

“How, Cass?” Sam asked. “What do we do to get her home?”

Guilt flowed through him, but Cass finally looked at Sam. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Dean said. “What, do we just let her loose in the woods? Cass, come on, we’re gonna need a little more than that.”

“At approximately 2:36pm tomorrow,” Cass said, “a temporal window will open inside the bunker. All Evy has to do is walk through it and she will wake up back home.”

“A ‘temporal window’?” Dean asked. “What the hell is this, Star Trek?”

            Sam was having flashbacks to three and a half years earlier, when Chuck had stopped time to give them a chance to process what was happening with Evy.

“Will it hurt her?” Sam asked.

“Will what hurt her?” Cass asked.

“Going home.” Sam said.

“No.” Cass said. His heart broke for his friend. “No, it won’t hurt her. A door will appear, and all she’ll have to do is step through.”

“And she’ll be gone.” Sam said, near a whisper, turning back to the table. He studied the pattern on the table closely. “Again.”

“Yes.” Cass said. “And she won’t remember being here with you. The time will be erased from her memory.”

            Dean started to ask for details on exactly how Cass knew all of this, but Sam suddenly jumped, looked down and laughed with relief. Evy had snuck back over to the picnic table and grabbed his leg to scare him. At his startled look, she started giggling and wrapped her arms around his leg. Sam asked her as he picked her up,

“What are you doing, you silly monkey?”

            Evy didn’t respond, just giggled as Sam placed her on the table and tickled her side. Dean reached over and tickled her other side. They both relished the sound of her laughter. Cass watched them carefully. In the time that he’d known her, when she was much older, he’d known her to be a kind, compassionate person, even when she was suffering. Evy had always tried to be a friend for him, even when Cass wasn’t talking to Sam or Dean. She had, every time the three of them had ever fought, been the first to forgive him. He didn’t know if she had ever put it together or not, but when she’d landed in the hospital after Sam had gone to hell, Cass had been there with her every night. After Dean would leave, Cass would sit on the edge of Evy’s bed and hold her hand all night. When she would cry for Sam in the middle of the night, Cass would either lay a hand on her back or put his arm around her. Cass missed her terribly, and felt a little jealous at the fact that she remembered Sam and Dean at the moment, but not him.

“Sammy?”

“Yes, Cricket.” Sam replied.

“I’m ready to go back now.” She said.

“Go back?”

Evy narrowed her eyes in a way that clearly meant _get with the program, Sammy._ “More animals, Sammy.”  
“Oh!” Sam laughed. She was ready to go back to the zoo. “Let’s go, then.”

            Sam picked her up and put her back on the ground, taking her hand and preparing to lead her back in. Dean followed behind them. Cass had already left. Two hours later, they were back in the car, headed towards the bunker. An exhausted Evy sat in the front again, between Sam and Dean, sleeping with her head in Sam’s lap and her feet in Dean’s. Sam was quiet, absentmindedly running his fingers through her hair and staring out the window. Dean let the uncomfortable silence stretch for over twenty miles before he finally sadi something.

“Sam.”

“What?” Sam said, sniffing.

“When should we tell her?”

Sam knew what he was talking about, but decided to play dumb. “Tell her what?”

“That she’s going home tomorrow.”

 _How about never?_ Sam thought, closing his eyes against the painful lump in his throat. He swallowed, and felt Evy stir underneath him. He looked back at her face, taking in every detail he possibly could. He remembered Evy as a child, but he’d forgotten how sweet she was. Especially when sleeping. Sam’s heart suddenly felt tight and painful inside his chest.

“Sam?” Dean asked, breaking the silence.  
“In the morning.” Sam said.

“Won’t putting it off make it harder…?” Dean asked.

“If we tell her tonight…” Sam said, cutting off Dean. “…she won’t get to sleep.”

            Dean nodded, then turned back to face the road. The rest of the ride was spent in silence, Sam watching Evy sleep, Dean watching the road and dreading the next day. Neither of them wanted her to leave. But it was coming, and as painful as it was, they had to face it.


	5. The End is Near (Again)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.

**Chapter Five**

**The End is Near (Again)**

            Sam didn’t sleep that night. When they got Evy back to the bunker, she was excitedly talking about her day, and kept grabbing Dean and thanking him for making it possible. Sam allowed her to stay up longer without much of a struggle. He told Dean it was because she had slept so long in the car, but the truth was, he just wanted to keep her awake as long as possible. They eventually ended up back in Dean’s room. Sam held her in the recliner, reading to her from adult Evy’s copy of “Charlotte’s Web”. When they were three-quarters of the way through the story, Evy grabbed Sam’s hand to stop him reading.

“Sammy?” she asked, a wide yawn stretching so far that Sam had to stop himself from chuckling. “Can we finish tomorrow?”

 _No._ Sam thought, wanting to scream it out loud. _We have to finish now. Right now._ But Evy’s eyes were heavy, and she was laying her head against his chest. With a heavy heart, Sam put the book on the nightstand and turned back to her.

“Sure, baby.” He said. “We’ll finish tomorrow.”

“Okay.” She said. “Good night, Sammy.”

“Good night, angel.” Sam said. “I love you.”

“Love you.” Evy said, barely above a whisper. “Will you tuck me in, please?”

 _You know you don’t have to ask._ “I’d like to hold you for a while. Is that okay?”

            Evy nodded weakly, already drifting off into a peaceful sleep. Dean eventually came to join them. The next morning, around eight o’clock, Evy stirred awake, and went to join Sam and Dean, who were already in the kitchen waiting. She walked in rubbing sleep out her eyes and climbing into Sam’s lap without a word. Sam’s heart twisted painfully in his chest. But he hid it from Evy. He wanted her last few hours with them to be as painless and fearless as possible. Dean fixed all of them breakfast while Evy sat curled in Sam’s lap. After she’d been fed, Sam decided it was time to face the music. He set Evy on the table in front of them.

“Hey, baby. Listen up. Dean and I have to talk to you about something.”

Evy tensed up for a moment. “Am I in trouble?”

“Why would you think that?” Dean asked.

“’Cause you’re both upset.” Evy answered, looking from brother to brother.

“No, Cricket.” Sam said. “You’re not in trouble. We’ve actually got good news.”

Evy looked back at them curiously. “What is it?”

Sam started to talk, but choked up, so Dean took over. “You’re going home later today.”

Evy’s eyes popped open as if Dean had just told her she was going to the North Pole to see Santa. “Really?”

“Really.” Dean said.

“Yes!” Evy cheered, wrapping arms around Dean’s neck. After she hugged Dean, she turned to Sam to hug him too, but stopped. “Sammy?”

“Yeah, Cricket?” he asked, trying to fake a smile.

“Are you sad?” she asked.

“Why do you say that?” Sam replied.

“You’re crying.”

Sam reached up and wiped away a tear he didn’t even realize had started to fall. “I’m just gonna miss you so much, Cricket.”

            Evy frowned. She wanted to go home. She wanted to go home _now._ She missed her family, especially Sammy. Her Sammy. She was sure he was waiting for her, scared and sad and lonely, wanting her to come back to him. But this Sammy was nice too. He obviously loved her and missed her a whole lot. He’d made her feel safe, and protected her from her bad dreams, just like her Sammy did. Evy then got an idea.

“Sammy? Do you remember what you tell me when Daddy and Dean are gone?” Before Sam could respond, Evy reached over and placed her hand on his heart. “They’re right here. I’m right here too, Sammy.”

Sam laughed and grabbed Evy into a tight hug. “Come here, you.” He said playfully.

            Evy allowed Sam to hug her for a couple of long minutes. She knew he was really sad and needed it. She then had another idea. She pulled back from Sam, who reluctantly let her go.

“How long until I go home?” she asked.

“You’ve got a few hours.” Dean said. “It’ll be a little while after lunch.”

“Why?” Sam asked. “Is there something you wanna do?”

            Evy grinned and nodded yes. She reached out her arms in a silent plea for Sam to let her down. Sam complied, and Evy rushed out of the room in the direction of Dean’s room. She came back holding something. Sam couldn’t tell what it was right away, until she was holding it up to show it to him. It was Charlotte’s Web. Sam smiled and took the book from her.

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Sam stood up and took her hand, prepared to lead her back to Dean’s room.

Evy took Dean’s hand. “You come too.”

Dean chuckled. “Yes, m’am.”


	6. Time to Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.

**Chapter Six**

**Time to Go**

            Sam read through Charlotte’s Web again, from the beginning at Evy’s insistence. She wanted Dean to hear it, too. Dean had read it before, though of course Evy didn’t know that. It had been the first book he’d read to her after Sam had gone to Stanford. But Sam sat on one side of her, Dean on the other, and Evy in the middle. They read the whole story, start to finish, and prepared lunch. Evy’s favorite, monkey sandwiches with chips and juice. Sam kept staring at the clock. It felt like he could feel the seconds ticking away. They kept getting louder and louder and louder. Finally, the clock hit 2:30, and they were surprised by a visit from Cass.

“Sam. Dean.”

Sam put one protective hand on Evy’s shoulder when she jumped. “Cass.” He said.

“It’s time.” Cass told him sadly.

Sam checked the clock. 2:31. “No.” he said, almost childishly. “No. We still have five minutes, Cass.”

Cass nodded. “Yes. You do. But Evy can only go home if we’re all outside.” He explained.

            _Then we won’t go._ Sam thought. But Evy was jumping and pulling at Sam’s arm, ready to follow Cass outside to go home. So, even though he felt as if his legs were made of lead, Sam followed her outside. He checked the clock on his phone. 2:33. Three minutes and she’d be gone. Sam felt a sad sense of déjà vu. His mind flipped to the day, nearly four years earlier, when he’d known, down to the second, when Evy was going to die. She had been brave then, right up until the last second. Now, he knew when she leaving, but she was happy this time rather than scared and miserable. So Sam attempted the same thing. He dried his eyes and held her hand, waiting.

“Cass?”

Cass, who had been standing over by the Impala next to Dean, bent down to Evy’s eye level. “Yes?”

“How do I go home?” she asked.

“A door will open up right here.” Cass answered, pointing in front of them. “A woman will come through. After she comes through, all you have to do is step through the door and you’ll be home.”

            Before Cass could say any more, a bright light started to appear. It started as a simple orb, then grew until it was the size and shape of a door. The door opened, and a woman stepped through. Sam, who only moments before had been feeling devastated and in despair, stared in disbelief. He looked to Dean, whose mouth was hanging open. Cass was smiling.

“Hey, I know you.” Evy said, suddenly breaking the silence. “You’re the nurse lady from the hospital.”

            Sam looked down at Evy and then back to the woman. She was right. The woman who had stepped through the door was the same one who had sat with Sam all those years ago at the hospital. He hadn’t thought about her in years. Now he wished he had.  
The woman laughed. “That’s right, sweetheart. I am. Now it’s time to get you home. You ready?”

“Yeah.” Evy said. “Is my Sammy okay?”

“He’s fine. He’s waiting on you.” The woman responded.

            She let go of Sam’s hand and walked over to her. She reached the woman, then stopped. She tapped the woman’s knee and beckoned her to bend down. Evy whispered something in her ear. The woman smiled and said,

“I think that’s a fantastic idea. Go ahead.”  
            Evy turned around and ran to Dean, hugging him around his neck. Dean told her how much he loved her and would miss her, too emotional to say anything else. She then went to Cass, who told her the same thing in his own way. She turned and ran to Sam, who bent down and held her tightly. Sam let her go from the hug, but held on to her for a moment.

“Don’t you _ever_ forget how much I love you. Okay?”

“Okay, Sammy.” Evy said. “I’m sorry me leaving is making you so sad.”

“Do not be sorry.” Sam said. “You hear me? Do not be sorry. You have made me the happiest I’ve been in a very long time. So don’t be sorry, Cricket. I love you. I will always love you.”

“I love you too.” Evy looked back towards the door, then back to Sammy sadly. “I gotta go.”

Sam nodded. “I know. Go on, Cricket. It’s okay.” As Evy walked towards the door, Sam stared at the woman.

“Let me get her home.” She said. “Then I promise I’ll explain everything.”

            Sam nodded, and Evy walked towards the door slowly. When she reached it, she turned back to everyone, giving them one last air kiss. She then went through the door and back home. Sam turned back to the mysterious woman. If he thought the last few days had been unbelievable, this was about to top the list. The woman smiled and said to him,

“Hi, Sammy.”

Sam’s eyes welled up with tears again, as he said in a broken voice, “Cricket?”


	7. Life After Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.

**Chapter Seven**

**Life After Death**

As soon as Evy was gone, the door disappeared. Dean and Cass were still leaning against the Impala, Sam was still staring at her. Evy pushed her long hair out of her face and laughed. She looked to Dean and Cass, then back to Cass.

“Someone say something. You’re making me nervous.”

“Is she okay?” Sam asked, looking towards the direction where the door had just disappeared.

“Yes.” Evy answered. “She woke up the second she stepped through the door.”

            _Sam was sleeping on Evy’s bed, and scratched his nose when it started to itch. As soon as he settled back down, something was tickling his nose again. Annoyed, Sam swatted whatever it was away, and heard a laugh._

_“Quit it, jerk.” He said._

_“It’s not me, bitch.”_

_Sam opened his eyes and heard a distinct giggle on the bed beside him. He realized that Dean was on the other side of  the room, so it couldn’t have been him tickling his nose. Sam’s heart leapt when he realized Evy was not only awake, but sitting up and looking at him with a mischievious grin. She held Squish on her lap, gripping one of his paws. Sam realized she had tickled him awake by taking one of Squish’s paws and rubbing it lightly against his nose._

_“Hi, Sammy.” She said._

_“Oh, Cricket.” Sam said as he embraced her, not wanting to ever let her go again. Sam pulled her out of the hug to look at her face and make sure she was actually awake. “How long have you been awake?” he asked._

_“About five minutes.” John said. “She asked us to let her wake you.”_

_Sam hugged her again, laughing. “I love you, my silly Cricket.”_

            Sam didn’t say anything, but crossed the gap between them in three large steps and put a hand to Evy’s face. He stroked her cheek for a second before grabbing her into a crushing hug. Evy hugged him just as tight. She had missed Sam as much as he’d missed her. Dean and Cass took their own turn, and when the initial shock wore off, the guys asked what was on their mind. Dean stated it for everyone.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Evy laughed. “I can show you easier than I can tell you.” She said.

Sam realized something. “Cass, did you know about this?”

“Not until yesterday.” Evy explained when Cass hesitated. “He found me while you two were at the zoo. I told him about the portal opening today. I asked him to tell you about it but to keep me a secret.”

“Cricket, what’s going on?” Sam asked.

“I need you two to trust me for a second.” Evy said, holding both her hands out. “Take my hand.” Sam took one hand, Dean the other. Evy looked to Cass and nodded. “We’re ready, Cass. And thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

            The last thing Sam noticed was Cass placing two fingers on Evy’s forehead. In the next second, the three of them were somewhere else. It looked familiar to Sam, and when he realized where they were, he gasped.

“Is this our apartment at Stanford?”

Evy smiled. “Very good, Sammy.” She let go of their hands. “I live here. And not alone.”

            Evy started to walk towards the front door, followed by both Sam and Dean, who were still too shocked to say anything. When Sam stepped outside, he expected to see the street they’d lived on, but he didn’t. The apartment stood by itself; to the left and right were two familiar looking houses. The first Sam only had vague memories of. It was their house in Lawrence. The second was one he knew all too well. It was Bobby’s. Across the street was Harvelle’s Roadhouse. All around them, the weather was gorgeous. The sky was clear, with only a couple of clouds here and there. The temperature felt about sixty-five degrees. Chilly to Sam and Dean, but Evy had always loved it a bit on the cool side. A simple, two lane road was in front of them, though Sam did not see a single car anywhere around. Not at first, anyway. He heard Dean ask excitedly,

“Hey, is that….” Dean asked, pointing to a black form across the street, tucked behind a tree.

“Yep.” She said, smiling. “It’s Baby. My second home.”               

            Dean smiled, and started to follow her across the street. They got to the roadhouse, and Evy opened the door. The first thing Sam saw was Pamela, who winked and waved at him. The first thing Dean spotted was Ash flashed a peace symbol at him. Evy came in and looked around. She counted something softly to herself, then asked,

“I see almost everybody, but where’s…?”

“WHAT’S UP BITCHES?”

            Sam jumped when someone grabbed his shoulder and practically shouted in his ear. Between him and Dean was a familiar mop of bright red hair.

“There she is.” Evy said, smiling.

“Charlie?” Sam asked.

“In the flesh.” She said.

            After a brief, joyful reunion with her, Sam and Dean turned to the rest of the room. They realized who else was there, and it was bittersweet. Pamela greeted them both warmly. Bobby gruffly called them both “idgits” but embraced them. Jo, Ellen, and Aileen also greeted them. Someone else came to them that caused Sam and Dean to stare in disbelief.

“Hey, boys.”

“Dad?” Sam and Dean said at the same time.

            After meeting with everyone, Evy, who had seated herself on a barstool and watched everyone reunite with Sam and Dean, asked them all to sit down. Everyone took a seat, and Evy started to speak, before Dean’s curiosity finally got the better of him.

“So what the hell is going on here?” he asked. “How is everybody here, together?”

Evy smiled. “Well, and this is the weirdest thing I’ll ever say, do you remember when you and Sam went to heaven the last time?”

Sam and Dean both nodded, neither of them bothering to acknowledge the truth of how weird her statement was.

“Well, after I got here, I helped Ash finetune his program to find other heavens. I knew where Bobby and Dad were, but I went looking for Pamela, Aileen, and Charlie.” Evy explained. “They can come between here and their heavens any time they want.”

“The angels don’t bother you?” Dean asked.

Evy smiled. “After I came here, Chuck declared my heaven, that I share here with Dad, and everyone else’s to be protected. No one, angel, human, or otherwise, is allowed in here or in any of the other heavens without permission.”

“That was _you_ at the hospital?” Sam asked. He was not at all surprised that Ash and Evy had worked out a way to travel between heavens. Something else was more important to him. “How?”

“I had some help with that.” Evy replied. The door opened behind them. “Hi, mom.”

“Hey, sweetie.”

            A familiar voice that Sam and Dean had not heard in thirty years made  them both turn around and stare. Missy, Evy’s mother, walked towards them slowly. She had died the day Evy was born. Missy stared at them both for a long moment before speaking.

“Well? Are you gonna hug me or not?” she asked.

Dean did so first. “It’s good to see you.” He said.

“You too, dear.” She said. “I’m proud of you.” She whispered in his ear. She let Dean go, then turned to Sam. “Sammy. The last time I saw you, you were this tall.” She said, placing a hand at the top of her stomach.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “I’ve missed you.”  
“I’ve missed you too, sweetie. And thank you. Thank you so much.” Missy said.

“Thank you for what?” he asked.

“Taking care of my baby girl.” She said.

Sam looked to Evy, then back to Missy. “My pleasure.” He said.

Missy shared a hug with Sam. Evy waited a moment and spoke again. “I’ve got one more person here.”

“Who?” Sam and Dean asked together.

            Sam felt someone else grab his hand, but he didn’t jump this time. He figured it to be Charlie or Pamela, which made the revelation of who it really was all the more surprising.   
“Jess?” he whispered.

            Jess nodded, then without a word pulled Sam in and down for a passionate kiss. Sam did nothing at first, then grabbed Jess around the waist and spun her around. The kiss went on for a while, but no one pulled them apart. Finally, Jess pulled away and looked at Sam.

“Hey, sexy.”

“Hi, beautiful.” He said. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you more.” Jess said playfully. She turned around and looked at Dean. “Hi.”

“Hey there.” Dean answered.

            Without a warning, Jess took two steps towards Dean until she was right in front of his face. She drew her hand back and slapped Dean across the face. She slapped him so hard that Dean felt himself knocked backwards a bit. Holding a hand to his face, he looked at Jess with a mix of surprise and hurt.

“ _That_ was for taking Sam to Jericho and putting him back in the life.”

“Jess…” Sam started, attempting to defend Dean.

Jess looked at Sam so fiercely that Sam didn’t dare say another word.

“And this…” Jess continued, wrapping both arms around Dean’s neck and kissing him on the cheek, “…is for taking care of him and Evy after you did.”

            Dean smiled and nodded. He had often felt guilty for taking Sam away from Jess, and, in extension, Evy. Had he not guilted Sam into going to Jericho with him, Sam would, most likely, have graduated, gone to law school, and had his own family. He had often wondered if Jess hated him. Now he had his answer.

            Jess walked over to the barstool next to Evy. She sat down, and Sam looked around, taking note that everyone was now sitting and staring at them. Dean noticed too, and inched slightly closer to Sam.

“Why does this feel like some kind of an intervention?” he asked.

“Because it is.” Evy answered. She took a deep breath. “I thought about doing this on my own, but I decided to bring everyone here so they could back me up.”

“Doing what?” Sam asked, a sudden pit forming in his stomach.

“I need to ask you two to do something for me.” Evy said.

“What is it, kiddo?” Dean asked.

            He expected her to ask them to fight a monster, help her with something in heaven, or maybe down on Earth. Evy didn’t answer him for a moment, trying to consider the best way to phrase her request. Her simple, one word request took them both by surprise.

“Live.”

            Dean narrowed his eyes in confusion. They were both alive; what was she asking? Sam, on the other hand, flinched. So she knew. He looked away from her, tears forming in his eyes. So he had let her down. Again.

“I know about the suicide attempts, Sammy.”   
            Sam felt more than saw Dean’s look of shock. At one week and three months after Evy’s death, he had gone into the woods of the bunker with his gun, fully intending on shooting himself in the head. He wasn’t sure what exactly had stopped him, but he had never truly considered doing it again.

“And I know you tried to sell your soul again to bring me back, Dean.”

            It was Sam’s turn to be shocked. So Dean had broken his promise to Evy too. Both of them had tried to bring her back. Both of them had attempted to end their life, which would have broken their promise to her to stay together. Both of them guiltily mumbled their apologies to her.

“I’m not mad.” She told them honestly. “I would’ve been surprised if you hadn’t tried it. But I stopped it. Both of you.”

“How?” Sam asked.

“Well, that’s the thing about the king of Hell liking you. You can get him to do favors for you for nothing in return.” Evy said, smiling. “I asked him not to take any deals from either of you.”

“And me?” Sam asked.

“That was me.” Evy answered. “I was there. I was hugging you, whispering in your ear asking you not to do it. That it was okay. That you’d be okay.”

            Sam felt incredibly guilty. Not only did she know about him trying to kill himself, she had watched him try and do it. He couldn’t help crying now.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He said sorrowfully. “I just miss you so much.”  
“I know, Sammy.” She said, getting up and walking over to him. “I miss you too.” Evy wiped his tears away from his face, just as he’d done for her so many times. “But like I told you, I’m right here.” She pointed to Sam’s heart. “I can see and hear everything you do, Sammy. In fact, visiting you in the woods wasn’t the only time I’ve been to see you.”

Sam was confused at first, then realized what she meant. “The video.”

Evy nodded. “I left it in the room right before you came in.” She wiped Sam’s face when he started crying again. “I can hear you when you talk to me, Sammy. I’m listening. But you need to keep going.”

“Why?” Dean asked.

Evy turned to him, understanding and compassion in her face.

Dean continued angrily, “Seriously, why? Look around this room. Everyone, _everyone_ , that Sam and I have ever loved, is in this room right now. Why should we keep going?”

“Because you two are going to be the first Winchesters and Campbells _ever_ ,” Evy said, “to make it to sixty. And I don’t care if you don’t want to.” Evy said, cutting off Dean’s objection before he said it. “Because if I see either of you back here before then because of something stupid you did, like trying to shoot yourself or taking some stupid risk, I will spend eternity kicking some Winchester ass. Got it?”

Sam laughed, despite the fact that he would have rather done anything else other than make her that promise. “Got it.” He said.

“Dean?” Evy asked.

“Got it.” He answered, mouth turned down in an angry frown, unwilling to look her in the eye.

Evy sighed. “Look, guys, I know you don’t want to do this. I know you’re tired of losing people. Watching them suffer and die. News flash-I am too.” Sam and Dean both looked at her now. “Which is why I want you to break the cycle. I don’t care what you do. Keep hunting. Some nieces and nephews would be nice, but I’m not pushing.” She winked at them, and finally drew a smile from them both. “Whatever you do, just live. Please. Do it for me.”

Sam put a hand to her cheek. “I promise, Cricket.”

“Dean?”   
Dean was back to looking around the room, not wanting to make the promise.

Ellen walked over and slapped the back of his head hard. “You don’t make this promise to her, boy, she won’t be the only one kicking your ass.”

“I second that, idjit.” Bobby said from the corner.

“Yeah.” Pamela and Charlie said at the same time.

“Dean.” John said in his best ‘you better do it or else’ voice.

“Fine.” Dean said, still rubbing the back of his head and shooting nasty glances at Ellen. “Fine. I promise.

Evy smiled, satisfied now that they were going to keep their promises to her. “Thank you, Deanie.”

            The use of the nickname that only she had ever used softened Dean’s expression, and he grabbed her and gave her a hug. Sam held her too, and for a minute the three of them were in a group hug. Sam thought of Evy as a small child, maybe two or three. She’d been hurt when she fell off Sam’s shoulders during a piggyback ride. Dean had tried to comfort her, but she hadn’t been satisfied until Dean and Sam both hugged her together.

_“Want. Sammy. Too.” She kept saying as tears dripped down her face, each word punctuated by a sob. “Won’t get better without both of you.” She’d declared._

“Sam. Dean.”

Both boys looked towards the door. Cass had come to join them.

“It’s time to go.”

Dean nodded, but Sam tightened his hold on Evy. “No.” he said, devastated.

“Sammy. Listen to me.” Evy said, pulling him around and grabbing his face with both hands. “I’m okay. I’m at peace. Daddy’s here, Bobby, my mom, Jo, Ellen, Jess…I’ll be fine. But I need you. I _need_ you to go back and keep going. Please.” Evy was pleading now, desperate for Sam to listen to her.

            Sam got control of himself, and promised Evy one more time that he would do his best to stay alive. Evy smiled and kissed his cheek. After putting a hand to his heart and reminding him again “I’m right here. I love you.”, Evy looked to Cass and nodded. The world around Sam and Dean went black, and a few seconds later, they were standing outside the bunker, next to the Impala. Sam still had tear stains on his cheeks, which he quickly wiped away. Dean put a hand on his arm.

“Sam?” He asked. “You okay?”

            Sam started to shake his head ‘no’. How could he be okay? He’d lost Evy not once, not twice, but three times now. First at the park as a small child, then when she’d died three years earlier, and now. But a chirping noise stopped him. Sam looked on his shoulder. Sitting there was the biggest cricket that he’d ever seen in his life. Normally, as he’d had to deal with so many of them on hunts, bugs weirded him out. But this one seemed to be staring at him. Sam held a hand out, and the cricket climbed into it. Sam started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Dean asked.

            Sam showed him what was in his hand. Dean had heard but hadn’t seen the bug. Sam expected him to scoff, or try and flick the cricket away, but he didn’t. He smiled.

“Bye, baby girl.” He said.

            Sam knelt down and put the cricket on the ground. It left his hand, but turned back towards him. It chirped again, quite loudly. Sam laughed; he imagined it was annoyed.   
“Bye, Cricket.” He said.

            The cricket chirped loudly again, then turned and headed into the woods. Sam watched it until it was out of sight. When he saw the direction the cricket was headed, he suddenly got an idea.

“Hey, Dean?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Come on. I need to show you something.” Sam said.

            He started walking with Dean into the woods. Cass, who had been silently observing them, debated on whether or not to come. Sam simply turned and smiled at him, waving at Cass to join them. He led them in the direction of Evy’s gravestone. As the three of them visited her, Sam could have sworn he felt a hand slip into his. He wasn’t frightened, and squeezed the invisible hand. He closed his eyes and whispered to himself,

“Good night, my angel. Rest in peace.”

 

 


End file.
